St@rliteknight

that i cannot wait for christmas. snow men and snowforts. coming in from a cold day greeted by warm cookies and hot chocalate, and putting in the christmas cd's and singing as loud as u can with your mom as you decorate the tree, and little cousins you havent seen in so long that grow up way too fast running around in your house, sitting at home in your most comfortable warmest pjs reading a good book and occasionally looking out the window to see how graceful the falling snow is, and how pure everything is when the ground is covered. getting that warm feeling when u hug family members you havent seen in a loong time. getting soft sweaters and a huge sum of christmas money from grandma which she then says not to tell your mom about cuz she'll think its too much, and of course mistletoe and kisses. kisses from mom, kisses from grandma, even kisses from sisters give u that wonderfully warm yuletide feeling, and of course kisses from that special someone. i seriously love christmas with all of my heart, can you tell?

this was a pretty sweet weekend, made doubly sweet by the fact that i was grounded the entire weekend and still went out everyday. friday was the relient K rufio mxpx cooncert. that was pretty sweet, although the pit got crazy. then sat i worked and then went to the party. my sunday was spent reading and watching TV in my sweat pants, and favortie hoodie. i dunno about u, but thats a pretty damn good weekend layout for me. o and special shoput out to chi, his birthday was sat, happy 18th bro

this weekend was sweet and stupid at the same time however the sweet greatly outweighs the stupid. friday i went to the football game after goin over to liss and mel's house and sleeping for like 3 hours, after the game i went to c berry's house and chilled over there til like 2. then saturday i got called into work which was sooo aggravating, then afterwork me jeff n cary went over to this party n southfield and got crunk. then i had to work this morning 11-630 which was made even suckier due to the fact that our fucken computer system was down so everytime someone payed with a credit card we had to call out and go through this looong process to authorize it. then after work i headed up to the football field for some fuckin rugby where i preceded to get punched in the face and i scored, and i got a busted lip lol. so yea that was my fucking weekend.

i was tagged by none other than stacey dropiewski (prolley spelled wrong) lol


List Ten Things That Make You Happy & Tag Six Friends To Do The Same.

1. Music
2. friends
3. Sushi
4. Christmas
5. skimboarding at 6 am
6. hugs
7. Scary movies with the oppisite sex (actual scary movies tho NOT boogeyman)
8. seeing my Dad and my older sister
9. Smirnoff
10. the beach

lets see holly, melissa, mel, kyle, adam, marina

So yea powderpuff game was a loss but it was close, good job seniors, nice hustle.half the people i work with are leaving including my boss so i dunno wuts gonna happen with work, i hope we dont get an ass of a manager that would suck, other than that not much is goin on.

so i was reading this book, yea i know, who reads? anyway this guy used this phrase to describe himself and it totally stuck out to me, for like a week now it kept popping up for some reason. "I'm not shy, i just have quiet confidence." or something to that effect. and i couldnt help but relate it to myself. I dunno, i see myself as this because i never really approach anyone, initiate anything, or things like that but when it happens i kinda know how to handle it. yea none of that came out right at all lol. Comparitavely it scares me to death to do any of those things, so maybe i cant even use quiet confidence to describe myself. ok i can feel a really pointless ( to some) entry coming up so if u dont really care( which is fine) just ignore this. anyway, if you know me,u know i rarely talk about how i feel/ who i like and all that jazz. emotions are a subject ive always been afraid to talk about, because honestly i dont understand them at all. once i develop emotions for somebody, its very hard to just erase them, and most times the erasure never happens and the emotions stay, so im stuck with these feelings for several ppl that wan and change all the time. imagine how you feel when u first develop a crush on someone, at first its all heart flutters and halcyon bliss, but then things change, and the feelings fluctuate, they do something that annoys you one day and the feeling lessens, but then they totally surprise with something the next and they flare again. now imagine this for like 5 different people, someone tell me im not the only one who experiences this. Granted, there have been ppl who i have had unexplainable and non changing feelings for and this is what mostly bothers me, not because the feelings arent shared, but because when it happens i see no one else and when someone else initiates something with me i try to ignore it and dodge it, even if i like that person because im thinking"well what if i could be with that one person", which usually ends up ruining everything, then im left with nothing. its a vicious cycle that i would gladly exchange to be happy with one person, i mean who wouldnt. then theres the drama of home life, ( seriously i think youve read enough at this point the rest i just felt like i need to write, for my own benefit). Basically heres my situation, when i was about 10 my dad cheated in my mom, i was there the day she found out and the arguement happened, i wanted to cry but i couldnt, ive held it in ever since, and dont get me wrong i love my dad a lot, but i also know what he did was wrong. so basically since 10 ive grown up without my dad, there are obviously visits every year and what not, but i dont count that as having him there. then theres my mother. i love my mother, but our relationship is horrible, we never talk, and when we do, its arguing. there are good days, when we will share a laugh or two, and have somewhat of a family moment, but it never lasts long, and we'll start not talking/ fighting the next day. so im pretty much used to coming home and having no one to talk to about most of my problems, which may be another reason why i keep things in. then theres my older sister, she moved out after she graduated high school and now has an apartment in chicago and a job, and is going to college, i love her too, and just like my dad, i dont see her enough. i cant really say anything about my lil sis cept she is annoying at times lol but i still love her.They say home is where the heart is, and if thats the case i have no idea where i live. now before you think im throwing a pity party for myself, let me tell you im not, i just needed to write these things for myself and for my friends, cuz god knows i could never say any of these things to you in person. speaking of friends, i have great ones, we definately have our own problems and everything, like the judging the lack of communication, all the drama, but its been almost 4 years (for me) and we're still associateing with each other so thats gotta mean something. i dont know how everyone else views me, (although ive heard some things so i can probably guess), i dont even know how i view myself, but i know who really cares, at least i think i know, those will be the ones reading this entry and hopefully identifying with some of it. funny how i started out this entry trying to define a part of me and ending up more confused than ever. But i do know one thing, i'm thankful for my life, there are so many others who have it worse, who would die to be in my situation, and i know some of those people, and that makes me feel even worse for talking about how i feel about my life. i guess i just wish, that people could talk to me like this, could tell me these things about them, just someone to talk to on a deeper level like this without fear of judgement or betrayal,whether it be a friend or siginificant other, which i guess is unfair to ask since im deathly terrified to talk to someone like this myself, but i just really wanna see that im not alone. well i guess i should talk about homecoming now to divert the mind of whoever the hell may be reading this, homecoming was sweet, im glad i went i only danced with like 3 or 4 ppl tho and afterward was mildly disapointing, but all in all it was a great time. haha i had to have read this entry like 6 times over to myself wondering if i shouldnt even post this thing, even tho its not all of it, it puts a lot of me out there, and who wouldnt be scared of that. whatever.

If you've seen more than 70 your a movie whore
(*)Napoleon Dynamite
( ) White Noise
( )White Oleander
(*)Anger Management
(*)50 First Dates
( )Jason X
(*)Scream
(*)Scream 2
( )Scream 3
(*)Scary Movie
(*)Scary Movie 2
(*)Scary Movie 3
(*)American Pie
(*)American Pie 2
(*)American Wedding
(*)Harry Potter
(*)Harry Potter 2
()Harry Potter 3
(*)Resident Evil I-
( )Resident Evil 2
(*)The Wedding Singer
( )Little Black Book
( )The Village
( )Donnie Darko
(*)Lilo & Stitch
(*)Finding Nemo
( )Finding Neverland
(*)13 Ghosts
(*)Signs
(*)The Grinch
()Texas Chainsaw Massacre
( )White Chicks
( )Butterfly Effect
(*)Thirteen going on 30
(*)I,Robot
( )Dodge ball
( )Universal Soldier
( )A Series Of Unfortunate Events
( )Along Came A Spider
(*)Deep impact
(*)KingPin
(*)Never Been Kissed
(*)Meet The Parents
(*)Meet The Fockers
(*)Eight Crazy Nights
( )A Cinderella Story
( )The Terminal
( )The Lizzie McGuire Movie
( )Passport to Paris
(*)Dumb & Dumber
(*)Dumb & Dumberer
(*)Final Destination
(*)Final Destination 2
(*)Halloween
(*)The Ring
(*)The Ring 2
(*)Harold & Kumar (white castle)
(*)Practical Magic
(*)Chicago
( )Ghost Ship
( )From Hell
( )Hellboy
( )Secret Window
(*)I Am Sam
(*)The Whole Nine Yards
( )The Day After Tomorrow
(*)Child's Play
(*)Bride of Chucky
(*)Ten Things I Hate About You
(*)Just Married
( )Gothika
(*)A Nightmare on Elm Street
(*)Sixteen Candles
(*)Bad Boys 2
(*)Joy Ride
(*)Seven (SE7EN)
(*)Oceans Eleven
( )Oceans Twelve
( )Identity
( )Lone Star
(*)Bedazzled
(*)Predator
( )Predator II
(*)Independence Day
(*)Cujo
( )A Bronx Tale
( )Darkness Falls
( )Christine
(*)ET
(*)Children of the Corn
( )My Boss' daughter
( )Maid in Manhattan
( )Frailty
( )Best bet
(*)How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days
(*)She's All That
( )Calendar Girls
( )Sideways
(*)Mars Attacks
( )Event Horizon
( )Ever after
(*)Forrest Gump
( )Big Trouble in Little China
(*)X-men 1
(*)X-men 2
(*)Jeepers Creepers
( )Jeepers Creepers 2
(*)Catch Me If You Can
( )The Others
(*)Freaky Friday
( )Reign of Fire
( )Cruel Intentions
(*)The Hot Chick
(*)Swimfan
( )Miracle
(*)Old School
(*)Ray
(*)The Notebook
(*)K-Pax
(*)Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring
(*)Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers
(*Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King
( )A walk to Remember
( )Boogeyman
( )Hitch
( )Back Door Sluts 9
(*)The Fifth Element
(*)Star Wars Episode I
(*)Star wars episode II
(*)Star Wars Episode III
(*)Star Wars Episode IV
(*)Star wars episode V
(*)Star wars episode VI
(*)Troop Beverly Hills
( )Swimming with Sharks
( )Trainspotting
(*)People under the stairs
( )Blue Velvet
( )Sound of music
(*)Parent Trap-(OLD, & NEW)
( )The Burbs
( )SLC Punk
(*)Meet Joe Black
( )Wild girls
(*)A Clockwork Orange
( )The Order
(*)Spiderman
(*)Spiderman2
( )Amelie
(*)Mean Girls
(*)Shrek
(*)Shrek 2
(*)The Incredibles
( )Collateral
(*)The Fast & The Furious
( )2 Fast 2 Furious
( )Sky Captain & The World of Tomorrow
( )Closer
(*)The Sixth Sense
(*)Artificial intelligence
( )Love actually
( )Shutter
( )Ella Enchanted
(*)Princess Diaries 1
( )Princess Diaries 2
( )The Graduate
(*) Constantine
( ) Million Dollar Baby

Now thats what i call pistons basketball, strating lineup all got double digit points along with hunter who had an amazing 17 point game and mcdyess who had 13, and whats better, darko comes in and scores to make it 100 to 71, amazing game!

So yea not much has been up lately, schools almost out kickass. yeasterday was amazing, i sat in my garage and watched the thunderstorm and played guitar for and hour i loved it. SUMMER 05!

have i really changed that much? its kinda scary, next year we'll be the oldest kids, in highschool, most of us turning 18 and becoming actual participating members of society.i cant believe how fast these years flew by, and i cant imagine whats gonna happen next. i remember being little and saying i couldnt wait to be 18 and an adult but the truth is, i'd love to be young and carefree again.i really cant wait for the summer tho, i really dont know what will come out of it, but i know what im hoping for. i hope it will be amazing but i dont know. sorry for this pointless entry. im done now.

ok ppl recap of this weekend:
Friday- sucked ass, sorta, i spent the day baysitting the lil one and bangin out some guitar not too exciting
Saturday- umm bnaged out some more guitar earlier, then went out and picked up jenna lauren and kyle and we headed out to see amityville horror, whch in all honesty made me laugh more than it scared me, cept the last part FREAKY. then we went to jennas where proceeded to watch fricken scarface on a 65 inch plasma screen tv, tony montana is my idol.
Sunday- now most ppl dont do squat on sunday, but im not most ppl, soo i went to the downtown hoedown with kyle his family, adam and the twins. it started off lame but then we realized there was free stuff so it got better, it consisted of line dancing, me attempting to sing several country songs to which i did not know the words, and watching ppl get owned by the mechanical bull. all in all is was a pretty sweet weekend.
plus only like 17 more days left of school, yea.

so my mom finally cracked on the grounding, supposed to be grounded til summer, it lasted a week lol, so thats cool, other than that this crazy thing called life has got me wondering if i am living it to the fullest. i could die 2moro and would i have lived a good life? what is my definition of a good life? me and my friend were talking yesterday and like thinking about how these are the years we'll remember, and we'll come back to reunions and see everybody again and have flashbacks, i wanna make sure i have amazing flashbacks. wow this entry was pointless. im done.

Its been awhile since a quiz has graced my lj, so i figured id do myself a favor( and cure insatiable boredom) and put one in.DO IT.

WHAT WOULD YOU DO IF:
» I committed suicide:
» I said I liked you:
» I kissed you:
» I lived next door to you:
» I started smoking:
» I stole something:
» I was hospitalized:
» I ran away from home:
» I got into a fight and you weren't there:

im grounded, and im having the most fun ive had in awhile :)

How happy is the blameless Vestal's lot! / The world forgetting, by the world forgot / Eternal sunshine of the spotless mind! / Each pray'r accepted, and each wish resign'd. what a great quote and movie. figured id update this thing more often, just because, however in my current state of dormir, i could not possibly write anything of merit, so i submit to my dreams, only to write another day. PEACE

does anyone else think the new pope looks like hannibal lector? i mean not to be sacrilegious or anything, but i just couldnt help but notice the resemblance. anyway how is everybody?

so yea its been cool lately, nuthin too exciting, yet. im definately gonna make the most of this coming weekend tho i need excitement. been playin bball a lot, sk8ing when i can. my moms been lookin for a new car for me, which is sweet, then she tells me its because we're goin to be moving by july, and the car is so i can get back and forth to school, not so sweet. i hate how she always spirngs this shit on me, i dont even know where we're moving to, and if its far i really dont want to start over with everything, i hate that. o well ill for sure make the most of the time i've got.

Feeding horses, singing country,mcdonalds, rockin out with southon5,and dog wrasslin, pretty much sums up my evening.